Aberrant Prose

Spring Break Garbage Can Madness

Robert and I woke at one o’clock this morning to a clatter in the road—actually more like the sound of thundering wheels pounding on pavement. I thought it was thunder. Dakota and Paris bolted out of bed and headed to the door to furiously bark at the racket. Robert too reluctantly got up to see what the ruckus was about. Although too dark to see anything he had a pretty good idea.

On our drive to the park for our daily walk we immediately saw one of our garbage cans missing. No surprise. Six houses down the road we spotted it tipped over on its side having burped its contents all over the road. Ours wasn’t the only one rolled off during the night. Others were tipped and tilted pell-mell, their contents also spewed on the road and in neighbors’ yards.

Back from our walk Robert dropped me off to rescue our can and to pick up all of our trash: pieces of junk mail, empty toilet paper rolls, asparagus stems, tissues, dirty paper towels, dental floss, empty food containers, grimy lids, yucky cans. Just as I finished this unpleasant task and headed back home pulling our can behind me the garbage truck came barreling down the road. I stopped and faced our garbage can toward the road hoping the truck would stop to pick it up and empty it. When the truck reached me the driver stopped and leaned out of his seat toward me as if to tell me he wasn’t about to pick it up because how was he to know I was a legitimate garbage customer.

Instead he told me he was out on the road at six this morning and there was trash scattered up and down the road, it was everywhere and it was a mess! He continued to tell me how every year during spring break this same thing happens. “EVERY year,” he lamented. Neither of us had any idea how it had all gotten picked up. I am guessing commuters were up early to face garbage detail, an unpleasant disruption, before heading into the city. The truck driver then kindly picked up my garbage can and emptied it into his truck.

Picking up garbage on the road early in the morning in 35 degree weather risking my life as cars zipped by within inches was certainly not an ideal way to start my day.

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